Don't ask me why but for the past two weeks Jonathon and I have been talking heavily about "when we have kids." For the record-WE ARE NOT PLANNING ON HAVING KIDS RIGHT AWAY. I felt the need to say that since sometimes blogs have a way of getting rumors started.
Anyway, I mention that because Brian's message was about raising your kids. It couldn't be more timely for us since we have had lots of discussions about it lately. There are two reasons I fear having kids: 1. I don't want to be pregnant. 2. I am terrified of the teenage years. Let me go into further details...
The pregnancy thing-All of my friends keep telling me that I'll change my mind when I'm actually pregnant but I've heard enough pregnancy stories that have totally zapped my desire to actually be pregnant. Don't get me wrong...I want to have kids and I want them to biologically be mine, but I just wish there was a way to do it without the whole pregnancy thing. I realize how selfish that sounds and I hope I don't sound like the most horrible person on the planet but I really fear that nine months of sickness and backaches. I have always been a bit of a hypochondriac and I know I'll think something is wrong just about every thirty seconds. This part of my fear will have to be overcome on my own and through deep prayer as I know that it must happen in order to have the babies. Unfortunately, Brian's sermon today did nothing for this fear. Let me get to that part...
My #2 fear is having teenagers. I know that new parents talk about the sleepless nights with babies and infants as being a hard time, but in my opinion the teenage years scare me more. I lived with my sister during the first 8 months of my niece's life and while I wasn't a 100% participant in all those sleepless nights, I think I have a good idea of the commitment those young years entail. I'm afraid of messing the kids up....That's what scares me.
Brian's message was very soothing. He basically said: You know your kids and you know if you can trust them. There is no magic rule about when and how to let them do this or that. Give them a Christian upbringing and protect their innocence as long as possible. Then, give them opportunities to gain your trust. You don't have to lock them in the basement until they are thirty. (This was Jonathon's idea of keeping them out of trouble.) Know what they are doing, keep a watchful eye, and put up barriers to temptations you know they can't handle.
Although I know it will still be hard, it was a comforting message at a time when I was freaking out about the kids I don't even have yet. The timing was perfect as Jonathon and I had been talking about all these issues just yesterday. I believe Brian hit on every single thing we brought up. We kept turning to each other and smiling (almost laughing) during his sermon because it was uncanny how he hit everything.
It's amazing what I choose to worry about. Jonathon and I were laughing at lunch today because sometimes I think "what if" and start planning for those "what ifs" to happen. My time would be better spent thinking about the "what is" parts of my life.....
4 comments:
don't be so scared of pregnancy. think about it....people do it over and over again. here i am on my second round and am hoping for a third. people wouldn't keep doing it if it was so bad. as a mom, it is the COOLEST thing to lay in bed at night and feel that little person move inside of you! no one can ever take that away from you. it is so neat! i am not going to lie, you do have backaches but it is so worth it! it is an indescribable (sp?)feeling! you should read the book Babywise (everything in it works...my son is proof!) this is a way of parenting that gave us some guidelines which made me feel better the first time. i didn't feel like i was going into it completely blind. the unknowns are hard but very worth it! (have a already said that already? :))
I second what Alicia said, I know at time I complained but I see pregnant people know and I'm jealous. Not because I want another baby right now, but because I miss being pregnant. I look back and wish I would have enjoyed it more.
Your number one was my number two for waiting (#1 was I wanted my husband to myself for a while). But, I would love to feel like I felt all the time when I was pregnant. I had never been so healthy or happy in my life. Yes there is sickness, but honestly you forget it after it passes (and some never get sick). I miss being pregnant, quite often-so if you guys are ready--don't fear pregnacy it really isn't near what many make it out to be.
You'll be a WONDERFUL mom someday!! I loved Brian's message as well. I want to get an audio and save it to listen to when my kids are older as a refresher. There's only 1 thing I would have added (and maybe he touched on this and I missed it): to be just as cautious and aware when you let your child go to a friend's house. I think it's so important to know and trust the friend's parents and to make sure they have the same values.
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